What I Call Cat Stories

We've all been there, that friend with the 'oh so funny' cat story. That super original one where it jumped up and gave you a fright, hid in your wardrobe or ate your dinner...I hate cat stories.
   
     So recently I was told the best cat story by my sister. I know what you're thinking, and yes cat stories tend to be the least funny tails (geddit?! my jokes are about as funny as your pet stories!) ever told. But I'm still gonna tell it, and lets face it you're still gonna read it.

So the story begins in a place called Australia (you may have heard of it), and a family had a cat. The cat's name was 'F**k Off Cat' - no I am not making this up - and a very apt name it was too as that was the phrase the cat heard most often. Unfortunatly for the cat (which in the name of being PG will now be reffered to as Effy), something was wrong with it and it had to got to the vet.
So the vet didn't live very far away, and as the owner didn't have a proper cat-carrier for Effy, they did what any good GirlGuide would do and improvised. So, as if in a disney film, they popped the cat in a old cardboard box and selotaped it up and punched airholes in the lid (although not in that order as a heartattack would have significantly shortened the life of the cat and therefore the length of this story) and strapped it in the front seat of the car. All was going well, until they reached the final roundabout before the vets. Lets face it, cats weren't made for travelling and by now if Effy had words s/he would probobly have been shouting her namesake repeatedly. So the cat had been struggling and meowing and clawing and pushing against the top of the box (sealed only by the thin masking tape holding it together). You can guess what happened next. The owner was actually turning onto said roundabout when the cat broke free of the box and decided to prowl up and down the dashboard. I'm sure at this point again, the namesake seemed appropriate. To the other drivers though, seeing a cat at the windscreen must have been a fairly alarming sight.  Not to mention the tail in face must have been considerably vision-imparing to the owner.
     For those of you who are worried: As far as I am aware the cat and owner made it to the vets unscathed (although probobly fairly shaken). I am also fairly sure this story has been told more times than that one about that guy called 'Jesus' who was like born in a barn. Personally I prefer this story anyways...more believable...